Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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