and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize