That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
and she was petting her beer can
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
BRING THE BAGELS
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize