In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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