hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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