Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
