you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
