The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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