gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
