I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
