She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
