The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
