every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
A+ Viking dick
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
