This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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