he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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