he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
