i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize