if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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