I wannas sexs uuuuu
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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