So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
