I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
