if you like me you must not know who I am
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
