At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
