your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize