just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Come share oat with me in your robe
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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