Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
