I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize