nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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