I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
he just fucked me for my cheese..
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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