Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My vagina is very pro this idea
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
