Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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