why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So much rum. So many feels.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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