just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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