she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
