You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
