All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
