office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
