He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
they're like a gay fantastic four
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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