just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Come see our sink grown plant.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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