oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize