Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
