Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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