super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize