a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
