Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
