Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
