You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
