She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize