Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
