I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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