I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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