so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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