thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
