So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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