No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Never underestimate the power of titties
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
