Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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