I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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