Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
