yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Randomize
