it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
