My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
