She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
