I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
