dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
