Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
