Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she told me i tasted like america
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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